I’m really bad at keeping a blog.

I only occasionally think that anything that I’m doing or thinking is really interesting enough for an entry (because I can tell a one heck of a rambling anecdote which was a skill taught to me by my grandma who talks so much that the tellers at the bank try to hide from her) so I’ll write a entry and then just erase it because its just rambling on. Much like that last sentence.

Or, its like when I first tried to publish this entry the internet pulled a fast one and lost half of a really long entry that I thought was fun and I wanted to post. I never know how I upset the Internet Gods, but I’m willing to sacrifice a few .JPEGs to regain their contrary and ever changing favor.

So, I’ve come up with a blogging plan inspired by my love of wacky internet pictures and articles. Not only to I write a different kind of romance, I also like to laugh and, while my books never are “funny”, I tend to write characters who try to keep the humor up too.

I wrote a whole long thing about the stories that I’m working on (”The Dark Path” & “Edging The Abyss”) and what draft I am on (2nd & 5th respectively), their genres (paranormal/menage & lesbian/futuristic/fantasy), and then about the early brainstorming sessions when how the Dark Path characters surprised me on their sexuality. I had hoped Misty would be a lesbian and Devon be her straight sidekick until they both got a craving for the old pulsating member. After that I wrote about the setting of “Edging the Abyss” (think fantasy version of Detroit, controlled by a tyrannical vampiric nobility, where magic and machine are mixed).

Anyway, I am alive and well.

You sit down at the computer and open up your word processor. You stare at the blank screen before suddenly remembering that you forgot to tend to the cactus in the bathroom. Cursing the hustle and bustle of modern life, you go and water the cactus, ignoring that the house is quiet and that the cactus doesn’t really need to be watered. Finally back at the keyboard, you bite your lip as the blank page stares at you. Thats when you remember that you haven’t organized your CD collection in years. You make a note to write later, but things keep popping up.

That happen to anyone else? I’ve been riding high on a bad case of writer’s block. The silver lining is that I have a very clean closet. Where does it hit you? I, usually, am fine until I get to the climax of the story and then every word is like pulling teeth.

I’m a perfectionist in weird ways. I don’t really care if things are cluttered. I don’t have great handwriting. I’ll go to the store in sweats and big sunglasses without a problem. But, I have to get the resolution and climax of the story just right. That means in an hour I’ll have around two paragraphs written because I’ll re-write older sections or re-write new sentences again and again. By then, I’ll be so frustrated that giving the dogs a bath seems like fun.

I have my word processor open, but I just remembered that I have clothes in the washer.

I’ve been crippled with a weird stomach bug, but in my illness I have still managed to have the strength to get online and shop. Between trips to toilet to hug the old marble throne, I’ve registered and bought from the eharlequin site. Shit, now that they have that Nocturne line (recommended by Jaynie R), those deals can go to the sort of books I like best– paranormal and fantasy. I know, I know, my determination to spend money on books is astonishing. Did you know they take $4 off your first purchase when you register? And you get like 20% off when you order from the store (the shipping cost does put a dent in my enthusiasm)?

Amber Quill Press has a new gay/lesbian imprint, Amber Allure, which leaves me to ask– where’s the girl on girl action? One stinkin’ novella of the lesbian lovin’ in the WHOLE site? Though, all my bitching aside, I think its a good idea. Now, if you want some manly men making sweet sweet monkey love with other manly men, you can find the genre that you want instead of browsing through the gay/lesbian section looking for a cover that looks like a western or what have you.

Teddy Pig gives us all a lesson on how to organize our ebooks on itunes. Its very neat and he also shows how (with PICTURES) to save your ebooks on a CD. Marvelous!

December Quinn has a great series on choosing publishers up on her blog. Its something that I think that everyone starting out in the ebook business should check out. It could save some heartache later on. Trust me.

Now, my Pretties, I’m going to be sick again so enjoy these tidbits I have gathered for you.

The Most Important Thing I have Learned From Writing Fanfiction

Taking Criticism — Constructive or Not:

We all love our moms. She tells us that we are the most pretty girl in the world, that our writing is fantastic, and that we’ll be bigger than Nora Roberts. Unfortunately, you could be butt-ugly, unable to string two words together, and Nora Roberts would laugh in her Gucci heels before riding off into the sunset on her diamond-encrusted pony rocket at the thought of you gunning for her. You’re Mom isn’t necessarily lying to you – she probably thinks that you’re great because she loves you.

The people online don’t love you – you have to make them love you. In fanfiction, you can get instant feedback from people across the world. And, not all of that feedback is good. I’ve gotten horrible feedback (along the lines of ‘please never write again because I don’t think the world can stand such stupidity again’) on stories that I busted my ass on which made me want to cry. But, I still thanked them for reading. Why? Because no one is going to love your work like your mother or your best friend and you will have to deal with that.

Whether you are being published online in a fanfiction livejournal community or in the newest anthology from Ellora’s Cave, you are still putting your work out there to be viewed at by the general public. Between you and me, the general public is a nasty beast with a short attention span and finicky nature. The general public doesn’t care if you had a bad day or your dog died or that you have kidney stone – the general public wants to be entertained. And, it doesn’t matter if they spend five dollars or only five minutes to read your story, if you don’t deliver they will be disappointed. They might even tell their friends or write on their blog about how much your story sucked and to avoid you at all costs.

The readers and writers of fanfic aren’t as nice as the Romance Community. They’ll say if your story sucked donkey balls without pointing out that they liked the sidekick. I’ve gotten used to getting my babies stomped on, but it still hurts. That’s why when I get a comment (any kind) on my work, I step back and let it soak in before I make any kind of reply. That keeps me from making an ass out of myself a la Sally Fields at the Oscars or Laurel K. Hamilton in her ‘Dear Negative Readers’ rant. Mrs. Giggles is never going to strike the same fear into me as angry, snotty English major posting my story on their journal for the sheer pleasure of ripping it apart. Trust me, its happened and I survived. Mrs. Giggles doesn’t make personal attacks which fanfic readers will. Always, remember that they are reviewing the story and not you.

Here’s the tough love on publishing. Once you publish it – its going to be mocked, loved, hated, ignored, liked, disliked, and celebrated. If you don’t want to know what the outside world might think of your story then keep it under your bed. If you can’t handle a unkind word about it, ditto.

As, for myself, I use every mocking comment, negative reply, and constructive criticism as a challenge, promise, and means of improving my work. I feel grateful that people actually read the story and had some sort of emotional reaction to it even if it was revulsion. Hey, at least, if they are making fun of it they aren’t indifferent to it. Now, that is the reaction to fear – indifference.

I had my story, The Cherub’s Ditch, rejected by Torquere Press which was depressing as hell. But, I still have vaguely offensive funny videos on Youtube to console me.

I bring you: HOUSE OF COSBYS!

This isn’t quit safe for work, I don’t think. Its in the AdultSwim on the cartoon network line of humor. You’ll never look at Bill Cosby the same again!

I swear on the sacred name of blogger that one day I will write a story where some secondary characters are a funny were-Armadillo and his wife. There must be a scene where the wife puts a upturned laundry basket over the husband when he is in his were-armadillo form because she gets annoyed that him and another paranormal creature were out fighting crime or something. I just had this random thought after reading a review for the Big Kahuna.

Anyone else just love looking at pictures to give them a little inspiration? I do. Its not how the picture them selves look or what is in them. Its the feeling that I get from them. Its the way that the colors contrast. Its the names written in the tiny credit font in the corner. I can think of stories about the pictures at a drop of the hat.

In my search for pictures on the web, I have found Deviant Art and Iqons. The first website is a artist community where members post drawings, writing, photos, and other forms of artwork. This isn’t a professional site, but even the crudest paintings can inspire. Just look at cave drawings! The second site is the fashion version of myspace. It has the usual mix of designers, models, magazines, and the fashion forward. There are some truly talented and beautiful people on that site.

Foreign magazines are also quite fun to look at. My best friend brought me back a fashion magazine from Tokyo, and it is just really interesting to see the different aesthetics between my American culture and the culture shown in the magazine. Small home-grown magazines (not just fashion ones) can jump start an idea or two. Searching around for some local music rags in your area might show your muse where exactly the perfect heroine for your hero(ine) is. A punk rock chick for a stuffy banker? Anything is possible with romance!

Any style mags from the New Yorker, W, and Home and Garden are game for perusal. Heck, I’ve been known to get an idea or solution to a plot problem from flipping through the Weekly World News in line at the grocery store!

Huzzah!

Q. Do you accept lesbian erotica?
A. In the past we had only considered F/F scenes in works that also featured het or M/M erotica; however, we are lifting that rule and will now consider exclusively F/F works so long as they adhere to our guidelines.

Yay! Prepare for the sexing of the lesbian kind, Phaze! (as soon as I write it, of course)

Thank you, December Quinn and Selah March for giving me the heads up about Phaze. Kisses, chicas!

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Okay, today, I was writing a pretty emotional scene in the novel I’m working on, 23 Kisses, and I start tearing up. Having to write Claudia watch Zoe walk away from her in disgust after finding out she is a gatekeeper almost killed me. Anyone else get emotional with their characters as they write certain scenes?