I’m watching an episode of Jerry Springer about brothers and sisters getting married and women forcing men down the aisle. This reminded me of Romancelandia, our own patch of land in cyberspace, and how strange it can be. We’re all adults, but the veil of passive-aggressiveness is sometimes disguised as professionalism. That isn’t the majority though because we all know that the loudest voices can obscure that they are coming from a small group. Internet rumors are the worst! Trust me, I know. Usually the best advice is to take a step away from the computer and remember that its online and that the people in the chat rooms can’t really affect your life. In Romancelandia, its trickier. Many of the victims of rumors are authors who can actually be negatively affected financially and professionally by the Great Rumor Mill. What is the best thing for an author to do? Or a blogger for that matter? My belief is that we have to stop taking every critical comment as an attack and free up our discussions.
Gossip is addicting. Men, women, children–we all love getting into each other’s business. Don’t deny it. We all want to think that we are like Melanie from Gone With The Wind and not give a hoot about gossip, but we’re not. Honestly, could you grab Scarlet’s hand and still be her friend after hearing rumors that she is trying to steal your man? Why do you think that tabloids sell so well? When you add a business like writing into the mix then its a extremely tempting cocktail. Gain traffic on your blog and build a name or let the gossip go? Its a difficult decision because at a truly cynical level gossip in publishing seems to benefit almost everyone. The gossiper get more traffic on her blog and more people checking out her work and the person that she is gossiping about gets the same.
Snark blogs are entertaining as hell and they have another subconscious function in the minds of the citizens of Romancelandia, readers and writers, as the truth tellers and group therapy. When an author wants to reveal a big secret about an epublisher that isn’t paying its authors on time, they tend to go to the snark bloggers? Why? Because an author will get shunned for not defending an publisher even if she is getting screwed. They will say that its bad business to air that dirty laundry even if it might help other writers from joining up with that publisher. So, to keep in the good graces of her colleagues, she goes anonymously to the author-hatred snark blogger who posts the story. Want to know what happens a lot of the time? More anonymous complaints come in and more attention comes to the tale. All the passive-aggressive, repressed, and professional masks come off and damn orgy of gossip ensues. Its a big collective release for everyone. People get their woes off of their chests in a way that is much more satisfying than with some girlfriends who have no idea of the culture of Romancelandia. Then there are times when authors are fighting and they use a snark blogger as a cannon. I think its the lack of discussion and debate in Romancelandia that makes the gossip particularly vicious. Everything is taken as an attack so no one dares to say anything. Until they blow up. And, then the snark bloggers and readers grab some popcorn and watch the flames.
Though on the other hand, on the internet, only you can protect yourself. Everyone reminds children about sharing personal and private information online and that should extend to adults as well. Especially professionals. The Internet doesn’t replace face-to-face interaction at all because you can’t tell if the person across the net is stabbing a voodoo doll of you with one hand while typing with the other. You have to protect yourself. So, make sure that you aren’t putting in writing something that you don’t want to end up on someone’s blog. Have diplomacy and abide by the golden rule and the Great Rumor Mill will probably pass you by. Never think that your comments won’t have a reaction because everything has an equal and opposite reaction. Just ask Issac Newton.
Also, if gossip about you that does get out should be treated with as much silence as possible. Don’t let your friends write blogs to defend you and don’t do it yourself unless you have too. Don’t even let your friends write letters to reviewers defending your book and don’t do it when the same happens to you because that only hurts you and your friend in the long run because that might turn the reader off of your books. No guilt tripping or nagging or threats because it just puts the reader on the defensive. N o one has sympathy for a lawyer who loses her case because she was having problems at home so why would they for an author who is behaving badly because of whatever problems at home? We all have bad days, months, years so its not fair to readers that writers are the only ones who get a free past. I’ve had some bad times recently which caused me to act a little more defensive than I should have in a small Internet tiff, but I apologized and acted like a grown women.
When Carol Lynne was getting her books ripped apart, she was quiet about it and it was only other authors who commented and kept the snarking alive (though, it has come to light that she has commented on a public yahoo group which was leaked to the snark blogger who first reviewed her novel which has caused another round of gossip and snark). It was people defending her and the people who were defending snark bloggers that gave the first post life and seemed to piss off some readers who didn’t like that authors wanted to censor them. I know that I had quite a few IM sessions about that whole situation which I wouldn’t have before because I had never been to that blog. It was only the uproar that followed that brought it to my notice.
Another thing that authors have to realize is that readers don’t like it when they are told to read and shut up. If you are acting like a fool in public then people are going to comment on it. Just like if you write something and it gets published then you have to expect that it might get a negative reaction. Even if you write a negative review or just say that you don’t like whoever’s books, you can get slammed by people who are fans of the book or friends of the author. I myself have gotten a few emails that run along those lines. My favorite was the one that said that since I was a lesbian that meant that I have no right to review heterosexual books. Sorry, friend, but, even with my Sapphic tendencies, I know what I do and don’t like in a book. Reader blogs and snark blogs aren’t for authors – they are for readers. I read romances way before I tried writing them and I found that a lot of review sites seemed more like the cheering section at homecoming. A book would get five purple sparkle unicorns or what have you and it would be a badly edited monstrosity that made me wonder if the reviewer even read the book. That is why readers love snark blogs because they don’t pussy foot around. They will say if a book sucked and give you exact reasons why (at least the best ones do). They keep up a dialog and a community with romance readers that helps keeps readers interested and involved in trying new romance authors. I know that the Smart Bitches blog (linked on my sidebar) was what got me to try ebooks and got me from an occasional romance reader to having my TBR pile become almost all romance. There has to be more that have had a a similar experience. Authors have to realize that their writing is not them and that a review of their book is not a review of their character. Readers shell out the money for your book to be entertained so if they don’t get that then they can complain if they want to. If you buy a toaster and it doesn’t toast then wouldn’t you want to complain to your friends and tell them not to buy that brand of toaster? In fact, authors should be grateful that readers take the time to review because it gives the author free press. Nothing makes a reader gun shy or wary like an author behaving badly or telling them to pipe down. It gives a feeling of us against them and you don’t want the consumers of your product to think that you are against them. As a reader, I get awfully annoyed with folks who reply to a review with comments like, ‘well, lets see what you have written.’ You don’t need to write a sentence to have an opinion on a book. After talking to some of my friends, I have found that this is a common reaction and it pisses them off too. Why shell out $5.99 for a book by an author that doesn’t seem to respect you as a reader when there are loads of great books out there?
Laurell K Hamilton and Anne Rice have had famous blow-ups against ‘negative readers’ and the like. It got them publicity and ridicule. Sure, I believe that all press is good press, but I do believe that there is varying degrees of good. If a review is really bugging you then yell about it offline to a friend, eat some chocolate, and let it go. No review is so horrible that it can’t get you one of the better degrees of good press. Its the reaction of the author that makes readers annoyed or amused.
I’m not saying that we have to stop all discussion. My whole point is the very opposite. I want people to free themselves and stop being so defensive while at the same time to stop their underhanded attacks. Do I think that this will happen? No. Maybe this might make people think. Maybe not, but I think that the tension in Romancelandia can only be broken if people can stop threatening that their mocked author friend is going to kill themselves and if people stop going behind each other backs and then blame the snark blogger that they used as an Uzi. If you have a gun to your head because Mrs. Giggles gave you a 41 then you shouldn’t be a writer. Lets talk about which is a good publisher, lets talk about the nature of snark blogs or why romance doesn’t get any respect, but lets stay rational and calm about it. We all have to understand that writers and reader have overlapping circles, but they can’t really share all the same places because a reader doesn’t want to know a writer’s private life and a writer doesn’t want to know that everyone thinks that her hero has a stupid name. Its time for some self-awareness.
Remember, no body wins in a poo throwing contest. You just end up covered in poo.
What does everyone else think? Am I crazy (because that is definitely a possibility)? Am I being stupid? What advice or thoughts do you all have for authors, readers, or bloggers? What’s the word, bird?
Edited: I do know that everyone needs an outlet which is why I recommend and have another blog that is strictly personal. I rant and cry and bitch on that one and don’t advertise it.
I’m just going to be too hipster for that trend. Also, Pete Wentz, not that cool. Sorry.