I wish my chihuahua had the discipline to mediate. Murphy is a sweet and lovable pooch, but getting him to do more than get off the couch and lick your face is difficult. Ewok, my Pomeranian and Murphy’s overlord, had to get pulled out of training school. She didn’t want to get off my lap around the other dogs and she doesn’t like any authority except her own.

Source

I’ve been crippled with a weird stomach bug, but in my illness I have still managed to have the strength to get online and shop. Between trips to toilet to hug the old marble throne, I’ve registered and bought from the eharlequin site. Shit, now that they have that Nocturne line (recommended by Jaynie R), those deals can go to the sort of books I like best– paranormal and fantasy. I know, I know, my determination to spend money on books is astonishing. Did you know they take $4 off your first purchase when you register? And you get like 20% off when you order from the store (the shipping cost does put a dent in my enthusiasm)?

Amber Quill Press has a new gay/lesbian imprint, Amber Allure, which leaves me to ask– where’s the girl on girl action? One stinkin’ novella of the lesbian lovin’ in the WHOLE site? Though, all my bitching aside, I think its a good idea. Now, if you want some manly men making sweet sweet monkey love with other manly men, you can find the genre that you want instead of browsing through the gay/lesbian section looking for a cover that looks like a western or what have you.

Teddy Pig gives us all a lesson on how to organize our ebooks on itunes. Its very neat and he also shows how (with PICTURES) to save your ebooks on a CD. Marvelous!

December Quinn has a great series on choosing publishers up on her blog. Its something that I think that everyone starting out in the ebook business should check out. It could save some heartache later on. Trust me.

Now, my Pretties, I’m going to be sick again so enjoy these tidbits I have gathered for you.

is…

Elwood!

Elwood was rescued by the New Jersey SPCA and is a Chinese Crested Dog which may or may not be the ugliest dogs ever. They have cornered the market on upsetting looking dogs. He is sure ugly, but he’s no Sam who was euthanized for heart problems in 2005.

Sam was like the Crypt Keeper’s dog though I’ve heard that he was a sweet creature that doesn’t stop the fact that he haunts my nightmares. And, now they can both haunt yours!

Its cute and very bizarre!

I had my story, The Cherub’s Ditch, rejected by Torquere Press which was depressing as hell. But, I still have vaguely offensive funny videos on Youtube to console me.

I bring you: HOUSE OF COSBYS!

This isn’t quit safe for work, I don’t think. Its in the AdultSwim on the cartoon network line of humor. You’ll never look at Bill Cosby the same again!

Miami Sizzle

Mildred Sugarbaker was a just your average virgin widow trying to keep her dead sister’s orphanage for the redhead children of Indonesian skunk miners open when disaster struck. Under the hot Miami sun with only the seagulls as witnesses, one of the children were kidnapped. And now a steep ransom is being demanded — HER VIRGINITY.

Glenn Finkleberg is a ex-SEAL, ex-PI, ex-CIA and current vampire with a shameful past. Seeing the news of the kidnapping, he knows that solving this case may be his last hope for redemption. But, can he let down his barriers and TRUST AGAIN?

As sizzling as eggs on a Miami barrio sidewalk, Glenn and Mildred’s lust threatens to bubble over. The question isn’t what the hell is going on — The question is can love survive when a evil kidnapper, a plot to kill the President with a weather vane, and amnesia is thrown in its path?

———–

What can I say? Glenn Finkleberg just wouldn’t let me go before I shared a blurb of his true love with Mildred.

The fake Tyra Mail from McSweeney’s is hilarious. Here is my favorite:

One of you bitches done stole my Fruit Roll-Ups. Heads will roll tomorrow at 6:00 a.m. sharp. —Y’all know my name

TROUBLING TYRA MAILS CENSORED FROM AIRED EPISODES OF AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL.

I found a link to a Russian moose farm! It has picture goodness.

THE KOSTROMA MOOSE FARM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nIiC5yiNak

—–

When I saw this I thought of a few vampire heroes in some recent paranormals. This ring anyone else’s bells?